Cooking, Snoring and Self Defense

Just been on a beach holiday with the Family and Friends. The picture above is the view from where we stayed. Huh!

We cooked, ate, slept, read, played on the beach and in the rock pools…

There were a lot of us staying at the cottage (10), and on the second night, we descended, by default, into a party.

It got to the point where my friend, Dale, started “Zulu Gumboot Dancing”, to some 80’s tunes. Incongruous? She tried to teach Kevin some moves. Unsuccessful.

She also, by the way, won the “best dressed” award for the evening. Slippers, knee-length hockey socks, camouflage shorts, t-shirt, sleeveless-puff-jacket. Take a second to imagine it…

Kevin goes to check on his sleeping girlfriend, Kim, and as he walks into the room, he catches this burglar trying to climb through the burglar bars.

He shouts, comes running out to tell us. We go on a perimeter patrol to try to catch these guys. Without a torch. What were we going to do? Breathe on them!

Suffice to say we didn’t find them. Anyway…

So, we forget to switch on the alarm. These guys come back (tenacious), sneak into the house and steal a camera.

Next, break into a car. Get nothing ‘cause the car is empty. Do not need to break into the other car, ‘cause it is open… Score two iPods and money. They, I thought, very thoughtfully, left the wallets and cards behind. Nice burglars.

Now, Richard, who obviously snores, had bought this homeopathic anti-snoring spray. Before he goes to sleep, sprays it into his mouth… Has an allergic reaction. Throat closes. Can’t breathe. Panic.

His wife, Jo, is a Doctor. Serendipitous. She almost has to do a tracheotomy. Rush off to hospital. Put into ICU. Medicated. On a drip. Rehydrated.

We all thought that this was a cunning way to cure a hangover and have a good enough excuse not to have to look after the kids the next day, while battling a hangover. It turns out, that he witnessed a couple of gruesome things that day. At the risk of sounding crass, it was funny when he told it. We forgave him.  So it goes…

What a night. All in all not a bad holiday either.

One of the few rules, was that each night, someone had to cook the evening meal for everyone else. Therefore, my product for this blog, just in case you find yourself in a similar type of situation, is this marvelous little recipe book:

THE PALELO RECIPE BOOK

As an added bonus, in case you find yourself in a similar situation with burglars, I am offering up this gem on self defense:

SIMPLE SELF DEFENCE TACTICS

Now that I think about it, if like Richard, you want to avoid emergency medical care, you need to look at this beauty:

THE STOP SNORING PROGRAM

If you are one of the burglars and you are reading this, please can we have our things back?